guess this is goodbye atl.
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mikespeed95
- Get Some
- Posts: 970
- Joined: Thu Sep 02, 2004 4:41 pm
- Location: Huntsfail....TEXAS. Home of Dan Rather.
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mikespeed95
- Get Some
- Posts: 970
- Joined: Thu Sep 02, 2004 4:41 pm
- Location: Huntsfail....TEXAS. Home of Dan Rather.
i just want to be mad at her for hurting me so much but as much as i cant quote her on anything, and i dont remember particulars i know what shes going thru and i dont agree with it but damnit she wouldnt have said she loves me the 1st time if she didnt and shes always supported me in everything.
she thinks nevada is her fault, she thinks me quitting drifting is her fault. she thinks everythign is her fault because everone in her life always blames her for their fuck ups and shes such a giving person she always takes the blame.
she thinks nevada is her fault, she thinks me quitting drifting is her fault. she thinks everythign is her fault because everone in her life always blames her for their fuck ups and shes such a giving person she always takes the blame.
all things aside.. i think that you being able to re-organize and prioritize everything is a huge step in this stuff we call growing up. you're gonna be fine dude.
...sometimes you gotta take a few steps back to get back on the right track.
see everything in the past as an experience.. but remember there are many more to come.
take the good and make them memories.. take the bad and make them learning experiences.
not giving a shit what people think about you.. and just doing what makes you happy.. makes you whole.
don't allow the past to hold you back.. be a futurist!
*end of fortune cookie-style rant*
...sometimes you gotta take a few steps back to get back on the right track.
see everything in the past as an experience.. but remember there are many more to come.
take the good and make them memories.. take the bad and make them learning experiences.
not giving a shit what people think about you.. and just doing what makes you happy.. makes you whole.
don't allow the past to hold you back.. be a futurist!
*end of fortune cookie-style rant*
Well Dude,
To me, it sounds like you're more concerned about Le. That is good and bad. Good that you are able to have these feelings for someone and able to express them openly with all of us. Bad if you harbor these feelings and let it bring you down. Because if you are down your forward direction in life will slowly come to a stop. So my advice, as useless as it may be in your situation, is to concentrate on you. You can't change Le's mind. And if you try it will only make it harder on both of you. Let her have her space. There may be more to the situation than you think. And there is obviously more to this what we (DM's) know because we are only hearing your side. Not that you should have Le come on here and tell us her side. This isn't the Dr. Phil show. :p
So stay on the straight and narrow and focus on what is next for Mike Peters in the direct future. Start working, put money away (as much as possible), tinker with the car to keep yourself busy in idle times so you don't have time to stop and think/ponder on the past. Before you know it, it will have been 3-4 months and hopefully you will have $2-4K sitting in the bank, at which point you can make that move back to ATL if you feel the urge and won't be in such a finacial bind. Or you can stay there and completely rebuild the car. Or whatever works for you at the moment. But always have $$ in the bank.
So in summary, Focus on yourself right, Let Le have her space (completely), Work work work, tinker with the car, Save $$ and don't reminise on the past.
My biggest downfall is I spend to much time in the past. It causes me to loose focus. So I gave up Christmas this year so I could work (where I am right now) which in turn will put more $$ in my account. As far as the comment up top where I said that this may be useless advice, I've never been married or have any kids (yes, I'm straight) so I'm not the best relationship person out there. But I do know how to get over them and move on. I've got LOTS of experience with that.
Anyway, this is getting ridiculiously long and I have to get back to work. So good luck with whatever you figure out!
Chad.
To me, it sounds like you're more concerned about Le. That is good and bad. Good that you are able to have these feelings for someone and able to express them openly with all of us. Bad if you harbor these feelings and let it bring you down. Because if you are down your forward direction in life will slowly come to a stop. So my advice, as useless as it may be in your situation, is to concentrate on you. You can't change Le's mind. And if you try it will only make it harder on both of you. Let her have her space. There may be more to the situation than you think. And there is obviously more to this what we (DM's) know because we are only hearing your side. Not that you should have Le come on here and tell us her side. This isn't the Dr. Phil show. :p
So stay on the straight and narrow and focus on what is next for Mike Peters in the direct future. Start working, put money away (as much as possible), tinker with the car to keep yourself busy in idle times so you don't have time to stop and think/ponder on the past. Before you know it, it will have been 3-4 months and hopefully you will have $2-4K sitting in the bank, at which point you can make that move back to ATL if you feel the urge and won't be in such a finacial bind. Or you can stay there and completely rebuild the car. Or whatever works for you at the moment. But always have $$ in the bank.
So in summary, Focus on yourself right, Let Le have her space (completely), Work work work, tinker with the car, Save $$ and don't reminise on the past.
My biggest downfall is I spend to much time in the past. It causes me to loose focus. So I gave up Christmas this year so I could work (where I am right now) which in turn will put more $$ in my account. As far as the comment up top where I said that this may be useless advice, I've never been married or have any kids (yes, I'm straight) so I'm not the best relationship person out there. But I do know how to get over them and move on. I've got LOTS of experience with that.
Anyway, this is getting ridiculiously long and I have to get back to work. So good luck with whatever you figure out!
Chad.
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mikespeed95
- Get Some
- Posts: 970
- Joined: Thu Sep 02, 2004 4:41 pm
- Location: Huntsfail....TEXAS. Home of Dan Rather.
im going to get my life straight. i have my tonsils taken out on the 3rd and after i recover from that i start work.
im leaving her alone but it just bothers me so much that she thinks i did a lot of things i didnt do, and she thinks shes not good enough and those are never true and i've never tried to make her feel that way.
it just doesnt make any sense the way she seems to feel and how i know i've treated her. im not trying to stay stuck on her but i know shes worth the wait and sometimes you gota go thru hell to get to heaven.
also i dont wanna drag her into this i tried to delete it last night but i cant. but then i thought about it and she might get mad but at least she will know how i feel. i just would give anythingfor her to know how much i love her and it really bothers me because this is nothing new. she picks my nose, she poops on the highway, she plays guitar hero, she loves me for who i am. and i love her to death for who she is and shes the only person i've ever been able to act like myself 110% and she tells me the same thing.
i was just mean to her a lot about stupid stuff.
one night we were at xat and she always told me how awesome she was at working on cars and how she did everything to her celica all by herself, and i asked her to hand me some tools out of my box and she just stood there looking and i was like come on hurry up and she just started crying and was like "i dont know what that is michael im not good enough" and i felt really bad and she broke down and said she just wanted to make me happy and she kinda buttered herself up because it was so hard for her to realize that i really loved her just the way she was and i always did. it was just frustrating because shed take the title of biggest badass in the world to a new level with things shed tell me sometime, and then i'd be dissappointed and forget that in all reality while the bar for ultimate badass of the world did just get lowered 2mm its still 50 miles ahead of the #2 badass of the world, and id get really bent out of shape and she'd get hurt over something stupid and it was my fault.
one time we were at wal mart with andy and she was like "i used to play powderpuff football" and we were playing catch and she jammed her finger, and i made fun of her a lot for it because to me it was funny and iwas just giving her a hard time with no harm intended and she got hurt by that and tht wasnt nice of me.
wed be on a road trip and it'd be time to drive her shift and she'd be too tired and everyone else was tired and id get mad at her for not driving her shift when in reality i've got a girlfriend who is sitting in the back, asleep on the backseat of the truck riding around the country to support meee. who cares if she cant drive her shift. so what i migt not get 8 hours of sleep the night before an event, who cares.
she wanted to go auto-x and i was broke and she got upset and i told her it wasnt important and that hurt her a lot.
i finally went to an auto-x and i was so caught up with how she had talked herself up as defending champion (which she was) i got frustrated when she didnt kick everyones ass.
she brought her miata to a drift event one time and she wouldnt listen to any of my advice and she wouldnt even floor it to do a donut. i got mad at her because i thought so much of her i wanted everyone to just bowdown to my bad ass girlfreind when in reality all that matters is she put forth the effort and it took me a while to realize that. i realized it before nopi nats though and im really glad she taught me that, that was a really shitty day and she helped me get thru that and helped me a lot with the quitting drifting stuff because she made me re-realize that it doesnt matter if you win or lose as long as you enjoy yourself and give it all you've got thats all anyone ever wants from you.
i also got mad at her one time she went to a flower show in minneapolis for a week and the guy she was working for was a creep and she had to come home early after he tried to take advantage of her and she was really hurt and i was so mad at the situation i told her to stop with the modeling stuff and told her some mean things about how she wasnt going to get anywhere because she wasnt the type of person who'd degrade themselves and spread their legs and suck a bunch of dick to make it in that industry and i said it out of ignorance and it hurt her a lot.
i ran away from situations a lot and she took it personal and thought i was leaving her.
id get mad at her for sleeping late sometimes.
i tried my best to treat her like a queen but i failed miserably. i always told her how beautiful she was and how much i loved her and how awesome she was, but i also got mad at her for stupid stuff a lot and hurt her. the more days go by the more i realize what a peice of shit i was to her.
im leaving her alone but it just bothers me so much that she thinks i did a lot of things i didnt do, and she thinks shes not good enough and those are never true and i've never tried to make her feel that way.
it just doesnt make any sense the way she seems to feel and how i know i've treated her. im not trying to stay stuck on her but i know shes worth the wait and sometimes you gota go thru hell to get to heaven.
also i dont wanna drag her into this i tried to delete it last night but i cant. but then i thought about it and she might get mad but at least she will know how i feel. i just would give anythingfor her to know how much i love her and it really bothers me because this is nothing new. she picks my nose, she poops on the highway, she plays guitar hero, she loves me for who i am. and i love her to death for who she is and shes the only person i've ever been able to act like myself 110% and she tells me the same thing.
i was just mean to her a lot about stupid stuff.
one night we were at xat and she always told me how awesome she was at working on cars and how she did everything to her celica all by herself, and i asked her to hand me some tools out of my box and she just stood there looking and i was like come on hurry up and she just started crying and was like "i dont know what that is michael im not good enough" and i felt really bad and she broke down and said she just wanted to make me happy and she kinda buttered herself up because it was so hard for her to realize that i really loved her just the way she was and i always did. it was just frustrating because shed take the title of biggest badass in the world to a new level with things shed tell me sometime, and then i'd be dissappointed and forget that in all reality while the bar for ultimate badass of the world did just get lowered 2mm its still 50 miles ahead of the #2 badass of the world, and id get really bent out of shape and she'd get hurt over something stupid and it was my fault.
one time we were at wal mart with andy and she was like "i used to play powderpuff football" and we were playing catch and she jammed her finger, and i made fun of her a lot for it because to me it was funny and iwas just giving her a hard time with no harm intended and she got hurt by that and tht wasnt nice of me.
wed be on a road trip and it'd be time to drive her shift and she'd be too tired and everyone else was tired and id get mad at her for not driving her shift when in reality i've got a girlfriend who is sitting in the back, asleep on the backseat of the truck riding around the country to support meee. who cares if she cant drive her shift. so what i migt not get 8 hours of sleep the night before an event, who cares.
she wanted to go auto-x and i was broke and she got upset and i told her it wasnt important and that hurt her a lot.
i finally went to an auto-x and i was so caught up with how she had talked herself up as defending champion (which she was) i got frustrated when she didnt kick everyones ass.
she brought her miata to a drift event one time and she wouldnt listen to any of my advice and she wouldnt even floor it to do a donut. i got mad at her because i thought so much of her i wanted everyone to just bowdown to my bad ass girlfreind when in reality all that matters is she put forth the effort and it took me a while to realize that. i realized it before nopi nats though and im really glad she taught me that, that was a really shitty day and she helped me get thru that and helped me a lot with the quitting drifting stuff because she made me re-realize that it doesnt matter if you win or lose as long as you enjoy yourself and give it all you've got thats all anyone ever wants from you.
i also got mad at her one time she went to a flower show in minneapolis for a week and the guy she was working for was a creep and she had to come home early after he tried to take advantage of her and she was really hurt and i was so mad at the situation i told her to stop with the modeling stuff and told her some mean things about how she wasnt going to get anywhere because she wasnt the type of person who'd degrade themselves and spread their legs and suck a bunch of dick to make it in that industry and i said it out of ignorance and it hurt her a lot.
i ran away from situations a lot and she took it personal and thought i was leaving her.
id get mad at her for sleeping late sometimes.
i tried my best to treat her like a queen but i failed miserably. i always told her how beautiful she was and how much i loved her and how awesome she was, but i also got mad at her for stupid stuff a lot and hurt her. the more days go by the more i realize what a peice of shit i was to her.
Doesn't sound like you were being a peice of Shiot. Some of the things you said were some of the things that I would've been upset about too. Like the driving thing, I may have been upset too because I've always looked at my girlfriends as a best friend of the opposite sex. So when if we are making a road trip to an event, I would expect my girl to take her turn like everyone else unless she was not comfortable driving the truck with that much weight behind it. But of course it would be discussed before hand. I wouldn't just throw it out there expecting here to take over. That would just be wrong.
And as far as the modeling thing. I would feel uncomfortable with that too because there are a bunch of creeps out there just looking to take advantage of girls. Shit like that makes me want to start hitting the gym really hard and training again. Because you never know if you may have to defend her honor.
It's normal to wonder about the "what if's" when we break up girlfriends or when they break up with us. But you cant dewell on it. The things that you had issues with seem pretty reasonable, maybe a little more excessive than need be, but not over the top. Don't start thinking that you were completely in the wrong with everything. You have to keep your morals about you. Because it's a natural thing to think that you should lower your standards some with your morals. But don't. Sometimes thats all that separates you from all the other idiots out there.
You may have had some small control issues that you needed to have put in check but it looks like she has done that with this "Space". So just remember those things and let her have her "space". And if she decides to come around again you will be ready. But don't wait. NEVER wait on a girl. Move on and start living your life. Remember that unfortunately you have to look out for you and you alone. And sometimes it is literally alone.
You will build another network down there and you may never want to leave after you do. When I FOERST moved to ATL in 99 I didnt' have any friends AT ALL for the FOERST 8 months I was here. After that it was wide open! I have literally 5 times the amount of people and great friends that I know here than I ever knew in Pensacola. Thats why I tell people that Pensacola is where I grew up, but Atlanta is my home. I love this city! Straight up Freaks live here!! They are fun to watch.
Anyway, I'm rambling and it's gettign late.
*soapbox*
^^
That would just be wrong. And as far as the modeling thing. I would feel uncomfortable with that too because there are a bunch of creeps out there just looking to take advantage of girls. Shit like that makes me want to start hitting the gym really hard and training again. Because you never know if you may have to defend her honor.
It's normal to wonder about the "what if's" when we break up girlfriends or when they break up with us. But you cant dewell on it. The things that you had issues with seem pretty reasonable, maybe a little more excessive than need be, but not over the top. Don't start thinking that you were completely in the wrong with everything. You have to keep your morals about you. Because it's a natural thing to think that you should lower your standards some with your morals. But don't. Sometimes thats all that separates you from all the other idiots out there.
You may have had some small control issues that you needed to have put in check but it looks like she has done that with this "Space". So just remember those things and let her have her "space". And if she decides to come around again you will be ready. But don't wait. NEVER wait on a girl. Move on and start living your life. Remember that unfortunately you have to look out for you and you alone. And sometimes it is literally alone.
You will build another network down there and you may never want to leave after you do. When I FOERST moved to ATL in 99 I didnt' have any friends AT ALL for the FOERST 8 months I was here. After that it was wide open! I have literally 5 times the amount of people and great friends that I know here than I ever knew in Pensacola. Thats why I tell people that Pensacola is where I grew up, but Atlanta is my home. I love this city! Straight up Freaks live here!! They are fun to watch.
Anyway, I'm rambling and it's gettign late.
*soapbox*
^^
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mikespeed95
- Get Some
- Posts: 970
- Joined: Thu Sep 02, 2004 4:41 pm
- Location: Huntsfail....TEXAS. Home of Dan Rather.
Then give her space, be patient and move forward with something to keep you busy and to keep you from dwelling on the situation. That is the killer of all. The dwelling. If you find yourself thinking to much about the past look at your feet and tell yourself which way they are facing. My life coach told me that one time.
I'm going to stop talking about relationships for the night because I'm listening to Enya right now and I will start crying like a little girl when I start thinking about some of the relationships that I given away. Or I may just drive into a tree as fast as I can. Geez Im getting morbid now. Gotta go......
My life coach told me that one time. I'm going to stop talking about relationships for the night because I'm listening to Enya right now and I will start crying like a little girl when I start thinking about some of the relationships that I given away. Or I may just drive into a tree as fast as I can. Geez Im getting morbid now. Gotta go......
