My FOERST mock magazine double page spread. Critique Wanted!

BandyDesign · Post by **BandyDesign** » Mon Dec 22, 2008 7:37 pm

Sorry, I just realized this is my FOERST post

I signed up awhile ago after meeting Cody W. I am a photographer check out http://www.BandyDesign.com to see my work. Nothing amazing, but I am working my way up and enjoying every minute of it. I do not have any car worth bragging about, that includes my down and out Karmann Ghia. I do want to be part of the community. Thanks in advance for including me here. I know there are alot of people in the sport in here and I hope to learn alot from you guys.

btw, I am from Fayette, GA and I am a student at Georgia Tech.

Sorry for mashing my intro into a critique request thread

forgive me?

____________________________________________________________

I hope this is in the correct section.

I created this with some of my images and it is my FOERST try at a layout. I would like some critique on the layout, write-up and images. I know I am not great at any of this, but that is why I need some direction for this work. Thanks everybody, there are some pros in here and I would love to hear from you!

down_shift · Post by **down_shift** » Mon Dec 22, 2008 7:45 pm

welcome, I gave you some comments on IA for your layout.

CodyW · Post by **CodyW** » Mon Dec 22, 2008 7:45 pm

Yo, whats up Kevin! Good to see you on here, and not bad for a FOERST try!

bradt · Post by **bradt** » Mon Dec 22, 2008 7:55 pm

Leave out the bit on the creation of drifting because:

A: If the reader doesnt know about it, they have been in a hole or don't care.

B: It is debated as to the origins, so I wouldn't want to be quoted and end up being wrong.

In the sentence "I knew that these 240s that still had motors needed to get out on the blacktop" I would change "these" to "the". "These" seems all inclusive and misleading.

Putting "Proper-Wheel-Drive" and following it with (RWD) seems off to me. Change to "Right-Wheel-Drive" or something if you want to poke some fun about different drivetrains.

In "I was so impressed how these cars handled and held together for being so economical and old" I would say "I was impressed...." This is because saying "I was so impressed..." it leads us to believe that it would be followed by an action or some conclusion. Take this example:

"I was so impressed how these cars handled and held together, that I decided to give the gas a stomp and see what this thing could do." Or something to that effect.

Other than that it was OK. I'm not a photographer so I can't offer criticism on the shots.

BandyDesign · Post by **BandyDesign** » Mon Dec 22, 2008 7:59 pm

@down_shift: Thanks again for the critique, I was hoping to get a couple more critiques here and I will put together another. Unfortunately I don't see a class being feasible for me in the near future, but I am trying to work by these critiques and looking at some other examples to improve.

@Cody: Thanks bro, its my FOERST go and I am happy but I can see that its no mag feature yet.

A question, do most people use free fonts or make their own? I thought about making my own font, it just seems like such a difficult task and I have no direction.

BandyDesign · Post by **BandyDesign** » Mon Dec 22, 2008 8:02 pm

Thanks Brad, its good to hear some writing critique. Other than school english projects I have not done any writing. Thank you!

down_shift · Post by **down_shift** » Mon Dec 22, 2008 8:13 pm

Just a couple quick type comments. I would go with a standard font for the text. The one you have is too busy. Also I would keep the pt size between 8-11. Try not to let your columns be any wider than 40 characters as you lose the reader. FOERST rule of type is you have to be able to read it. Keep it up.

BandyDesign · Post by **BandyDesign** » Mon Dec 22, 2008 8:18 pm

Ok cool, cool. Now I made this solely on Photoshop and so you make text 10pt then scale it as you would an image and now its a whole different 10pt! lol so my question is, what program would you suggest? I imagine if I were going to print I would use InDesign.

down_shift · Post by **down_shift** » Mon Dec 22, 2008 8:32 pm

yea for print layout InDesign. 10 pt in one font can be different in another so you have to make a judgment call.

BandyDesign · Post by **BandyDesign** » Mon Dec 22, 2008 8:44 pm

Thanks.

What about fonts? Do you use free fonts, purchase them or make your own?

bradt · Post by **bradt** » Mon Dec 22, 2008 10:04 pm

BandyDesign wrote:Thanks Brad, its good to hear some writing critique. Other than school english projects I have not done any writing. Thank you!

No problem, it's all about improving and putting out better stuff. Just remember to jump in the readers mindset and you can usually catch things that may not of come out the right way. Your on the path to some good stuff, keep at it!

Zigerus · Post by **Zigerus** » Mon Dec 22, 2008 11:26 pm

BandyDesign wrote:Thanks.

What about fonts? Do you use free fonts, purchase them or make your own?

There's a thread on fonts somewhere on this board I seen it with my own 2 eyes, I do not remember though.

The layout is good, I would go with Brad's advice on the writing portion. The only thing I want to add. I would like to read more about backround info on what is going to make the the time spent on me reading the article worth my time.

But cody and Andy are the peoplez to talks to about this, I'm just a fan boy and have no amount of property in awesometown in my inventory or skills like the rest of the people on this board.

Frosty_SPL · Post by **Frosty_SPL** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 12:18 am

Keep going to GA tech and get your degree, you will make more money than most designers.

Fonts? just use Helvetica.

P.Haire · Post by **P.Haire** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 12:21 am

Frosty_SPL wrote: Fonts? just use Helvetica.

i like your style.

Frosty_SPL · Post by **Frosty_SPL** » Tue Dec 23, 2008 12:25 am

fonts seperate the men from the boyz.